If I want to ask ''Where to begin?'' I must first answer ''Where am I?''

I hope my title is an original...I think I sound quite clever.

I don't really look into things like I should before I commit to them. I may have explained this before in my blog, but it bears repeating before a discussion of my vacation in the United States. I hope I can avoid sounding like a complete dope but I'll tell anybody that what I knew about Peace Corps before coming to Costa Rica was GROSSLY inadequate. I had performed far below the average amount of research that my fellow volunteers had done before getting on the plane. I read the pre-departure information and I was interested, but you know...I figured there'd be more time to read later and it would probably be more pertinent once I had started training. I knew enough to answer people's questions but not much apart from that.

And I do stuff like this on purpose. The seemingly nonchalant commitment that I made to Peace Corps is far from casual, but also one example of many that appear this way. Because whenever I'm about to experience a drastic change or go somewhere new or what have you, I really don't like to be all that informed. It makes me anxious to have all these bunny trails in my brain spiraling off into more and more specific situations, circumstances and problems that may occur. Nope - I like a straight path and a map that I can consult when there's an obstacle. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Upon my return, my goddaughter Genesis looks like a spaz.  But hey, I look good!

Well. That's pretty much what I did with my vacation, too. I know that volunteers love to share about what it was like going home. All things weird and wonderful about being home. I'm about to do it myself. But I really was not interested in anybody's previous experience. I don't know how typical my vacation was in comparison to other volunteers. All this to say, of course, that I'm just going to blurt out a lot of stuff in the following paragraphs and then wonder, in retrospect, if all the other volunteers go through this.  If I go home again, I'd say this could function as my map.

First - I did not have time to do anything because I did everything. I wish I'd spent so much more time with the individuals that I saw. But I guess if I spent the amount of time that I wanted to with each person, I'd never be on a plane back to Costa Rica. Conflicting interests.

Second - How weird is it that in a large shopping mall they don't expect you to walk from the Staples to the Wegmans? When did a quarter mile become too long of a distance to walk? Why did the sidewalks end in strange places? Why did I have to cross behind a store and through the dock area to get where I was going?

Third - Of all the foods I planned to eat, two weeks was only good to get 10% of them in my belly. I did not have one peanut butter and jelly, no cheese curls, zero bagels and cream cheese, zip vegetable beef stew...and pickles only on the last night. No barbeque.  But I don't want to sound ungrateful for Thanksgiving, y'all.  I did get sweet potatoes and all sorts of crazy cheeses and red beet eggs.

Fourth - I did drink about 110% of what I thought I would. Yuengling, wine, Jack, Malibu, long islands, peach long islands, Magner's, flavored vodkas, etc...infrequent and unpredictable shots of Costa Rican moonshine offered by men who think I'll get drunk on just the one was getting old.

Fifth - I knew where everything was in my house. Mom said get a plastic bag out for the bread. I went right to the drawer. I asked Dad where the stapler was. He said Mom moved it over a drawer. Boom.  Papers stapled.

Sixth - I left Costa Rica on a bad note. Long story short, the honeymoon's over and I'm confronting real problems in my community that I'm not sure I can solve. So of course, I left the United States on a bad note because I didn't want to come back. Sobbing to my mom on my parent's bed about how toxic community relations are is not the way I'd like to remember my last night in the States.  But it's what went down.

Photo: courtesy Joe O'Brien who does not know I am using it here.  Erm.  Oops.

Seventh - Getting back to my community didn't dismiss the concerns that I have, but it made me realize how at home I am in Costa Rica. And so I was happy to be back. I had felt kind of out of place in Costa Rica. I felt really out of place in the United States (with some exceptions, all of them friends and family). So coming back to Costa Rica I've definitely thought to myself, ''Well. You're no Latina. And you're definitely not from anywhere rural. But being a fake rural Latina comes more naturally now than navigating the outlet mall. So welcome home.''

Seven's lucky, right? I'll leave it at that for now.  Let me just say, though...I had so much fun at home and I got back to my community totally exhausted from seeing great people and I really loved seeing every person from the U.S. who is reading this blog now.  Thank you so much for your support and your well wishing and your promises to come visit.  ALSO check out Nervous Nikki and the Chill Pills.